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Destin, FL -- The Emerald Anniversary · Aug 12, 10:33 PM

FROM THE SPONSOR — This scatterbrained blogging is brought to you by a large red-eye from Empire Coffee, an off-Broadway spot in Newport, RI. Music by Ai Jing, Shanghai Jazz, and Jolin Tsai. I’ve skipped out on live Bossa Nova from Brazil to get something down before it’s too late and it’s just easier to let it go.

[ Edit: My sister points out that I had Rob & John mixed up. Wow. Nice. I blame the mustache and wig for throwing off my first impressions, leading to a weekend of vague confusion. My apologies to you both. I’ll go create flash cards or something and be embarrassed. ]

SUMMARY — Big Family Beach Bash

That picture links to all the rest of the photos I’ve uploaded.

IF YOU WEREN’T THERE — 15 people from 3 generations and the far corners of the continental US converge on a beach house in Destin, FL for a sunny week-long celebrations of the emerald (55th) wedding anniversary of Hal & Cathy Holz. Except for the Quiet Holz Quartet, the crowd is entirely extroverted and brimming with friendly sibling rivalry. There’s an open bar, too.

THE EXTENSIVE EXTENDED FAMILY

The Grandparents Beautiful Mastermind

Hal & Cath — Hal is my grandpa Ken’s brother. Cathy is Hal’s wife of 55 years. These two are the reason we are here. Kit was the brains behind this operation. Just look at how much fun she’s having. We <3 Kit.


Haley & John [ sure about that, now? -ed. ] were in the kitchen cooking up Fantastic Baked Ziti and hand-made bonbons when we, the quiet Holz quartet, arrived. The party was at a rolling boil.

On Friday, Allie & Brendon threw together a Chicken Parm dinner to die for, and shrugged it off like, “oh, this old thing”. Killer pairs.


Haloid geeks Rob, Ames, Hunter (bartender par excellence), and Chase. Last time I saw any of these kids was about 8 years ago, and that wasn’t even all of them.


Left to Right — My mom Anne, sister Laura, and myself. Not Shown Here: Dad. His speech from TN on behalf Ken & Betty Jo — in our prayers — left no dry eyes and a stunned a crowd of type-A extroverts into silence. To quote Rob: “I’m speechless, absolutely speechless.”

They are a photogenic bunch, I must say.

EVENT NARRATIVE

Mom and sis picked me up from the Panama City airport, and we arrived just as John & Haley’s Romantic Italian Family Feast Night hit a rolling boil. Dinner brought down the house, and the party went late into the morning (except for a trip to the beach that I can neither confirm nor deny, and during which I was passed out on the couch, I managed to last through to the end). The next afternoon, aka wake-up time, we lazed about on the white-sand, clear-water beach.

In the evening we descended upon a beach hotel restaurant a couple blocks over. Theme: 1950’s prom, and everyone was dressed to the nines. Sibling rivalry at its best. In the warm summer evening we milled about with drinks and hors d’oeuvre while the photography picked dragged people out onto the beach for stunning photo-session, which everyone was pleased with, excepting a single scandalous take.

We moved inside and were treated to an amazing menu: sushi-grade tuna steak, grouper, and even pork chops for Grandpa Hal. I was partial to the tuna, but everything received a steady flow of high-praise. A hired saxophone and keyboard carried us through the meal. They played all the right songs, and handled the group perfectly, as did our waiter. There was a stirring round of speeches. There was wedding cake (with the original 55 year-old topper). We retired to the house for more party.

Friday was muted. Some went to Bad Ass Coffee. Some went to the beach (and a round of Piña Colada from the hotel bar). In the late afternoon, Alie and Brendan threw together a chicken parmesan dinner that wowed us all.

The crowd was slower Friday night — everyone saw Saturday coming; it had been a great week everyone agreed, but also a long one. Rob and Haley pulled a stunner with their dollar-store game.

A FRIENDLY GAME OF MAKE-SOMETHING-CREATIVE

This crowd really loves a competition with real winners and losers and associated bragging rights. We drew ribbons to divide up into teams of four, then had to make “the most creative thing you can” from the following:

And we had 30 minutes, plus 8 bonus minutes portioned out at the last minute by the judge in true reality-contest style. Here’s how it played out:


Potty Training Award

This work went, in my humble opinion, under-appreciated. By hanging from the light fixture, I feel it was pushing boundaries in a aspect of presentation that may have been disturbing to the judges. I, for one, walked away rethinking the way we construct the artist/audience/medium narrative as a textual dialectic framing the way we think about art. I’m serious about liking it.


3rd Place

Christmas in August? yes. The detail on the reindeer construction — magnifique! The Santa loaded on DXM and probably in the depths of an ether binge... not so much. John Are you sure it wasn’t Rob? -ed., the artist responsible for this element, took the responsibility for this loss heavily, and amended the piece post-event with googley-eyes that everyone agreed looked … more silly and less disturbing.

[ Ok, timeout for appreciating Johnny Depp, and “Bat Country” remains my favorite euphemism for drug use, only it hasn’t caught on to my knowledge. ]


Participation Price (aka Runner-Up)

There was a consensus that this space-man diorama complete with moon-rocks and space-rocket backpack was clearly the best “executed” and most “overall-ly awesome” installation, and it is such a shame that the judging was so transparently influenced by salesmanship and the presence of grandpa Hal. I contributed “technical guidance” due to my past involvement with NASA. Not that I’m biased.


1st Place

This piece was collectively arranged by Ames, Allie, and Grandpa Hal. The earth is shown in the center of a baby, with pipe-cleaner planes shown flying in from around the USA to arrive at Destin. In glitter is written each of the cities people have traveled from. The “Double Nickel” logo is displayed upon the baby’s belly, and on it’s foot one will find intertwined wedding rings, his and hers with an emerald stone celebrating the occasion that brings us together.

BACK TO THE NARRATIVE

The evening wound down early, and on something of a down-note due to a rather painful party injury. The next morning we all packed, hung around, and snacked-out the left-overs (including the yummy wedding cake from Thursday).

I spent a little time talking about my 3 1/2 months in China and show pictures on the TV. Like a proper boy-scout I had come prepared with s-video cables and whatnot gadgetry.

Mom and Laura took me to the airport (Laura saved me here.. I thought the flight left an hour later than it really did). In Atlanta I met up with Allie and Brendan for lunch. At 1:00 the next morning I arrived at my apartment in Newport.

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